Desire versus attachment

So, what's better? Having a desire for something or being attached to something?

Definitely having a desire is a great motivator for reaching our goals. I desire to get to senior leader status at my company - I desire to get married, I desire to be a great mother...

Unfortunately, the attachments I have - like not wanting people to think badly of me, or hiding my true feelings sometimes - keep me from completely reaching my desires.

In the Buddhist religion, getting rid of your attachments allows for true happiness and creates an environment that focuses specifically on your desires. Desires are necessary and natural parts of your life, but attachments are an unnecessary source of suffering. I am going to make a true concerted effort to release the attachments I have - to all things that aren't good for me, that don't allow me to have true happiness - so that I am no longer a helpless puppet dancing on the strings of compulsive cravings (for attention, for people to like me, for shoes or whatever it may be) and focus on my true priorities and get my life back in good order.

In mnay religions, there are the higher more mature motives than attachments, that's what I plan to get to. These more mature motives include truth and justice, kindness and altruism, and beauty. Essentially, you can't find true happiness externally, you have to stop looking outside yourself for satisfaction that can only be found within. That's the focus for me.

I've already started down that path and it's more rewarding than I could have imagined. Call it good karma - call it whatever - but when you work toward those higher motives versus focusing on power and money, and all things materialistic or attachments that aren't necessary, good things happen.

It's not easy to focus on something deep and real, considering that's not a natural fit for our American culture. I spew Buddhhism and some people in my family and among my friends hear "witchcraft" but this isn't just a Buddhist philosophy - all the major religions focus this direction but they may say it in different ways.

In general, just being focused and prioritizing those higher motives isn't easy - it's hard or everyone would be happy and satisfied with life.

I'm going to get there - sooner rather than later. Maybe someone else can learn something from this Post - or at least just be open to hearing about something other than American Christianity and culture.

Have a great day!

Are you thankful?

Sometimes it can be funny what you are thankful for.

For example, this week I am thankful for lessons I learned. The lessons weren't happy for joyful or even remotely fun to experience, but they definitely taught me that I need to change the focus in my life and pay attention to detail - and to think about who is protecting whom. This week I was protecting myself - and I missed out in one instance. In another, I didn't protect myself enough and I paid the price.


What are you thankful for?

How about family? This will be my first Thanksgiving hosting some family. I look forward to relaxing and enjoying my long weekend. Eating my favorite meal of the year - mom's pies, stuffing, sweet potatoes. I can't wait.

I'm also thankful for my many friends. I have met so many fantastic people over the years and I am lucky to have them in my life. For example, my friend Ian (from the UK) teaches me a new word every day - yeah, he speaks English, and quite frankly I like his English much better than ours, but most of all, I LOVE using the real English words versus our ignorant American. How about obergine? That would be eggplant. And of course, my favorite, wanker - you figure out what that one means. And you probably know a lot of them LOL!

I'm thankful for my son. Without him, I am sure I wouldn't even be as close to grounded as I am. Not sure where I would be without him. Loving your child is so completely amazing as I am sure my little brother realizes with my niece. No other love feels the same.

I'm thankful for my health.

I'm thankful for my brains - at least I think I have them. And that has led me to be thankful that I have a job and a career that I love. I spend a lot of time commuting and in the office and thinking about work - it's great that I absolutely love the company.

I'm thankful that I have my new house. I love having the space and most of all I love my bathroom!!! The tub is amazing!

Well, think about what you can be thankful for over the Thanksgiving holiday. Reflect on all of the family, friends, and blessings that you have.

Have a great week!

Oh, and did I say I was thankful for extra Thursday football over Thanksgiving? And did I mention that I am thankful for Troy Polamalu?

The greatest time of year!

I love waking up early during the Fall, which of course is my favorite time of year. The crisp cool air smells so good and the dogs run around looking for any reason to disobey the very people that feed and comfort them. The leaves have all changed color and for the most part hae fallen to the ground. Wildlife is picking up its energy preparing for the inevitable fait that follows Fall, also known as Winter.

Why can't we just have Fall for the entire year? Does that place exist in this country? Playoff baseball, NFL football, and hunting. Possibly three of the most enjoyable things that collide in one season and provide me with my own perfect storm.

And how could anyone forget the greatest holiday in the world, Thanksgiving. A day for stuffing your face full of food, watching football, and a legitimate excuse for having to nap throughout the day becasue of the chemicals within the turkey itself. A man's hollowed ground that will be cherished and loved throughout the future.

Never underestimate the splendor of Fall. It touches a man's heart in a way that will be the envy of all women. Remember ladies, we are simple creature that love the simple things in life. Food, sports, and naps.

Ben or Benched?

What will happen tomorrow with the Steelers? If Ben plays, will he really show up? I have only seen him once this season when he was "really there." Should he sit on the bench and heal?

I'm wondering if they aren't pushing the luck by playing him week after week when he's showing that he's not healthy.

I think that Charlie Batch is a good quarter back - he's clearly just short on the game time experience. But if Ben's out - he can play. Maybe they have practiced the crap out of him this week. I just can't take another pitiful loss.

Hopefully tomorrow, Heath Miller, Hines Ward and Willie Parker will rule the offense against the Broncos and Farrior, Joey Porter, and my favorite, Troy Polamalu will keep Denver in check.

I want a win. I don't want to see Cowher leave the Steelers, and I sure don't want to see him leave after a crappy season.

Come on guys, play!!! Can you give us a win?

What's trust got to do with it?

Whta is trust? Is it just something that each person earns, or do you give it to someone unconditionally until they break it?

Think how a baby "trusts" that the parent will feed, clothe, and provide any other necessities for life. Is that learned? Or is it automatic and unconditional?

When do you know that someone is trustworthy or not? Is it a gut instinct or behavioral programming built up over time?

To me, trust allows actions that are otherwise not possible. If you don't have trust, you don't have anything.

That's what trust has to do with it! Everything!